Dating Non H People

[mslyndsie]

I have had herpes for 7 years and it is to this day not any easier to tell new love interests about it. I recently met a 20 year old who has been with three people in his entire life, while I have been with substantially more. And I didn't always tell the past lovers I had it. I gave it to two men without their consent and still have never moved past the guilt it caused me. I had "THE TALK" the other night with the new guy who has been my friend for almost a year and just recently told me he was into me. He seemed a little put off and a little confused. He told me he knew very little about the disease and actually referred to it as a "complication" the rest of the night. We haven't talked about it since then, but there has been a kind of heaviness to our interraction since I told him he doesn't seem nearly as eager to talk to me. He was calling and texting all day, which was really nice.

Has anyone else had this experience of someone losing interest once they found out about herpes but not telling you straight up? It's a very heavy and anxious situation and I just want to know whether or not he's going to be able to live with the fact that I have an incurable STD. Anyone have a story or any advice?

Lyndsie

[spicegurl]

`I haven't had herpes that long, and i myself did have S-- with someone without them knowing i had it, and regret it everyday. Especially now that he has symtoms and well we did it on a breakout. ): Personally i've told a lot of the guys that like me that i have herpes and they don't. I haven't had any of them tell me no, or act any different. ((Guy#1)) asked me out as i was crying the first day i found out and said baby be with me we'll get through it together. At the time i was still not ready for a relationship and we talked more about us being together and he even said he still wanted to have unprotected S-- with me and didn't care if he got it as long as we're together... ((We aren't together and are friends))

[patinutica]

`Doubt it, what would you do? Id run like the wind. Most people would be looking for something better. I know of the rare occasion that a close person to me had it and they married someone who didnt,, had kids, the whole nine yards. Rare though.


and as for not telling someone, thats pretty bad

[softshoulder]

i have had herpes for only a few months. a guy i slept with one time gave it to me and i didnt know. i found a boyfriend a short time after and we had our first outbreaks three days apart. i felt so destroyed about it. but he still stayed with me. we were together a few more months before he had to leave the country for work and now we are friends. but i still feel guilty. and i have met two men since and when i told them they headed for the hills. but its there loss.

softshoulder

[alligator21]

`i got it from a guy who lied to my face about having any type of std before we had our random fling that lasted about a month. unfortunately i did this while i was on a break from my boyfriend and when we made up i had to go to the er for what i thought was a yeast infection that turned out to be herpes. when i told my bf he told me that while he would never abandon me in my time of need our romantic future was shot because im ruined now. i have only had it for about a month so im sure it will get better as time goes on but it sure does feel like the end of the world for me.

[(deleted)]

`ive had it for a couple of weeks and it was a guy that i wasnt with but a one night stand and i had to go to the er cause i felt bumps i thought they were warts guess not. i just wanna find a guy that i can love forever who has the same disease so i dont have to think about it or even care that i have it i have the antibiotics and i take them everyday. i need a guy i dont think ive ever been desprate like this.

[(deleted)]

``Don't limit yourself coreylyn222, you will find someone wven if he doesn't have H. These sites aren't easy and this shouldn't b ur only place you think u can find love. It's hard, trust me I know but no need to feel desperate.

[(deleted)]

`As tough as it is to date with our "condition" I will never be with another out of desperation or fear of being alone. Having herpes does not make me any less of a person. I believe if a person really does like you they willing to still make it work. It is OK to be worried but knowledge is power and as long as we take the time to educate ourselves the better we can protect the ones we care about.

[(deleted)]

`I agree with all of u dating someone with herpes is like driving a car every day u drive u put your self at risk for an accident but if u drive carefully u can limit the chances same with herpes with it careful with it partner the likely hood of infecting them is low